Tuesday, November 3, 2015

#CBR7 Review #27: No One Belongs Here More Than You – Stories by Miranda July

Miranda July is an interesting case, isn’t she? Sometimes I don’t know what to make of her and her work, and I find that she can be pretty divisive. There are some that find her to be gentle, profound, unique, and have a strong voice, while others may find her to be too whimsical, awkward, etc. And I happen to be right in the middle. I absolutely adore some of her work, but other times I just can’t connect with it and think, “Okay… that’s enough of you for a while.” And while the collection of stories in No One Belongs Here More Than You had a few short stories that really struck me, overall there were more misses than hits, and I couldn’t help but feel like everything in it was slowly dragging me down.

It is true that July has a distinct voice, and there is a skill to capturing small, single moments in a way that make you see them as so significant. In many instances, however, these moments in July’s stories center around her character’s sensuality or instances of sexual intimacy, which more often than not came across as somewhat awkward to me, which made me feel awkward reading them. And that is not to say I am uncomfortable reading about sex in any way, but in this case I was simply put off by something in almost all of the pieces included in this collection. In a way, I guess, I could only handle reading about and imagining so many uncomfortable women (and one, singular male protagonist), slowly and knowingly walking towards their own self-destruction, or into a place of more confusion and unknowing than they started in, but not in a inspirational way: in a disconcerting way. Though through some reflection, perhaps I feel a bit put-off by this behavior due to recognizing my own manner of working through life and issues, which may or may not follow a similar pattern. Yikes.

Yet, amongst all the other seeming misses and inclusions I just couldn’t connect with, there was one longer story around the middle of the book that really struck me for some reason, titled: “Something that Needs Nothing.” This story focuses on two teenage girls who run away from their suburban lives to live together in the city. The phases and realizations in their relationships and the way in which the protagonist found strengths and weaknesses made me think of things that, while not exactly the same, bore resemblances to my own life. I was even inspired to write a poem (which may later become a song??) about the things and feelings this story brought up in my own mind. And it’s kind of powerful when you can be inspired to make your own creative response to the work of someone else (kind of like how a dancer may be moved to choreograph in a particular way after hearing a certain piece of music).

The fact remains, however, that overall I did not find No One Belongs Here More Than You to be a very strong collection of short stories. And that is a shame, seeing as I really thought I was going to like it more than I did after having been exposed to some of July’s work before. Though perhaps it was the fact that many of the narrative voices came across as the same to me, and after a number of stories and a number of different characters, it all just felt a little flat. Or maybe it was the fact that I could be intrigued and immersed in a tale, only to come upon a line that I wish was never included, or drew me out of the story completely with the way it came across. I guess there are a lot of things that are keeping me from really loving this collection by July, save for a few of the brief pieces included. 

In any case, here are a few quick lines about what/who each of the remaining stories in the collection focus on:

  1. “The Shared Patio”: a woman becomes transfixed by the man who lives in the building below her and yearns for a relationship with him. 
  2. “The Swim Team”: a young woman reflects on the time she taught a group of older people how to swim without a swimming pool.
  3. “Majesty”: a woman fantasizes about one of the royal princes and imagines how she might meet him on day.
  4. “The Man on the Stairs”: a woman hears someone slowly coming up her stairs in the middle of the night and contemplates how to face him.
  5. “The Sister”: an older man hopes to meet a co-worker’s sister in order to form a relationship with her, yet the sister is elusive to meet.
  6. “This Person”: a hypothetical person has a celebration thrown in their honor, yet this individual wants to do nothing but retreat into themselves.
  7. “It Was Romance”: a woman goes to a class to learn how to be romantic, yet finds that perhaps romance is not necessarily what we think it is.
  8. “Something That Needs Nothing”: as described above, the relationship between two young girls who run away together.
  9. “I Kiss a Door”: a woman learns a secret about a past friend of hers.
  10. “The Boy From Lam Kien”: a woman lets a young neighborhood boy spend time examining her world.
  11. “Making Love in 2003”: a young woman wants to publish a story of a dark being she was once intimate with, only to find herself believing that one of her students is this same being reborn.
  12. “Ten True Things”: a woman takes a sewing class to try and get to know her boss’ wife better.
  13. “The Moves”: a young woman reflects on the lessons her father taught her regarding having sex with a woman.
  14. “Mon Plaisir”: a couple who have been together for a long time decide to become background actors together as a way to make their relationship more interesting.
  15. “Birthmark”: a woman removes a large birthmark from her face, only to contemplate on what this action means and how her identity is still tied to this mark she once had.
  16. “How To Tell Stories To Children”: a woman becomes like a second mother to a child of her friend, which is inevitably a strange family situation.  

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Sunday, October 18, 2015

#CBR7 Review #26: Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

Gillian Flynn’s Dark Places indeed deals with some dark issues, all centered on a character, Libby, who comes across as abrasive and unlikeable, yet she is still understandable and I was able to develop some empathy for her throughout the novel. I also personally enjoyed how the story was told as a series of present-day versus past event chapters, that alternated with one another to reveal different information from the viewpoint of different characters in a more staggered manner. This made the pacing interesting but not too straight-forward, and let me try and come up with my own theories along the way before the ultimate conclusion. Though at some points, I would get so interested in the past events of a chapter that I wouldn’t want to switch back to Libby in the present day just at that moment. 

Dark Places focuses on the life of Libby Day, 25 years after her brother, Ben, was charged with the murder of Libby’s mother and two older sisters when they were all children. Ben would have been 15 at the time, with Libby being around 7. Unsurprisingly, Libby has had a hard time adjusting to life after these events, and still holds some residual effects of experiencing such traumatic circumstances at such a young age. This leaves her now, 25 after, in a difficult financial position. Yet, she sees the opportunity to help herself make some money by agreeing to talk to people from her past regarding the night of the murders, after meeting with a club of sorts that like to investigate high-profile murders. One group, in particular, has been looking at her case and has come to a number of different conclusions regarding who may have in fact murdered her mother and sisters all those years ago. Libby had testified against her brother, but now she has to face the possibility that maybe he did not in fact commit the crime, and that her memory of that night does have some holes in it. Essentially we the reader are led to try and figure out what exactly occurred on the night of the Day murders while Libby herself seeks out information herself.

Along the way, we encounter a number of different topics, including guilt, financial difficulty, martial abuse, satanic rituals, peer pressure, and even the ever-tricky subject of child sexual abuse. That last point is a particularly difficult topic to address, and it just happens that I had recently watched Jatgen (The Hunt) with Mads Mikkelsen before reading this, which also dealt with the subject of children’s claims and accounts of sexual abuse that may or may not be accurate, and this is something that in my field of study can come up and needs to be dealt with in a very specific manner. When addressing such cases, you have to believe the child, and the child needs to know that you trust them no matter what they say. But as it is mentioned in Dark Places, the way in which children are questioned or treated in regards to incidents of sexual abuse is one that can sometimes sway children to behave in a particular way or say things that they think the adults want to hear, possibly even creating new memories of events. It is a hard thing to address, and something that I get really intense about, and I don’t really know how I feel about the way the subject was handled in this book to be honest (that is not necessarily a bad thing), but I think I need to reflect on it a little more before I’ll know for sure. 

In any case, I did get quite engrossed in Dark Places and the predictably dark subject matter. It doesn’t take long to get involved in making your own theories about what might have happened to the Day family, as slowly more and more information of the day leading up the murders is revealed. And really you just need to know what happened, so you keep reading. That’s what I found at least! And now I am definitely going to lend this one to a few friends who I think would also enjoy it.

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Thursday, September 24, 2015

#CBR7 Review #25: Sabriel by Garth Nix

Let’s be real, I had no idea what this book was about before I started reading it. I wasn’t even aware that it was the beginning of a series! I just noticed the title when I was at the used book store, picking up some mysteries for my mum. And then I took a peek at the cover and thought, “why not!?” It looked like a medieval-ish adventure tale, and that is exactly what I got! And it was slightly confusing at times, perhaps due to the main character being just as out-of-the-loop and trying to figure things out as the reader is, but I still enjoyed the pace it clipped along at, with varying degrees of action and more stand-still or explanatory sections regarding this new fantasy world that the Abhorsen series presents.

Sabriel is a young woman, in the latter half of her teenage years, attending a private school in what I assume is our normal world, yet still being taught a variety of different courses in Charter magic, as she and a number of other students are Charter Mages. Or, more specifically in Sabriel’s case, she is the daughter of the necromancer, Abhorsen, which is a title that is passed down through the bloodline of the necromancer family. Not far from Sabriel’s school is a wall that leads to another, more magic-infused (and seemingly more medieval and less-modern?) world known as the Old Kingdom. This is where Sabriel’s father typically lives and attends to business keeping the dead at bay while Sabriel attends school in her own world, and has short visits with her father from time to time. Yet, the novel soon leads Sabriel on a quest in the Old Kingdom, as her father appears to be in danger. While Sabriel is equipped with some magical skills and is quite powerful for her age, growing up away from the Old Kingdom has left her unknowing of many facets to the kingdom and of Charter magic overall. She must find her father with what skills she has, learning on the way, and with the help of a powerful being held as a servant to the Abhorsen line for thousands of years, that now holds the form of a cat (and a snarky one at that, which goes as no surprise given what cats are generally like). Sabriel comes to learn of an evil in the Kingdom that her father has been chasing for many years, and involves the general downfall of the kingdom and dead rising in many areas. The royal family’s bloodlines and their history also becomes intertwined with Sabriel’s quest, in the form of a man who comes to be known as Touchstone. The two end up working together for a common goal in saving the Kingdom from some great and powerful dead, and while my description has already been quite vague, I won’t go into too much detail.

Overall, Sabriel is an interesting adventure stale of a young necromancer coming into her own. There are great points of action and suspense, despite the plot seeming somewhat cut-and-paste, while still being quite original in my eyes (I do like spooky stories about dead things and necromancy). However for some reason, there was one point of contention that bothered me far more than it should have, though this is likely to do with my general mindset on things these days. The romance between Sabriel and Touchstone (It’s not a spoiler, you see it coming the second Sabriel lays eyes on the guy) just seemed too convenient, yet also forced in how it came to be? Listen, I know how it is when you hang out with someone a bunch then one day it’s like, “Oh NO!” because you suddenly realize you have a thing for them. And that is kind of what happens in this story on Touchstone’s part (with Sabriel being more slow-coming). But I just wonder if it’s really necessary? And why oh why, in so many stories, you have two people fall in love and being all, “I can’t live without you!” after knowing each other for like, two weeks maybe? (How about y’all crazy kids calm down?)

But I say these things about romantic sub-plots in stories (and don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a good romance, and get all squeaky and giddy at cute things), because a lot of the time they seem to be thrown in there just because. And I am always especially side-eyeing this when it’s a heterosexual romance, not because I am against this, but because I have had so many people in the past complain about stories involving LGBT+ romantic sub-plots of being “too gay,” as in “we get it, you’re gay!” Whenever someone says that to me, I want to say something about how it wasn’t necessary for there to be a romance in Jurassic World, but I got that incredibly forced and pointless romance anyways despite there being more important things to worry about like people being slaughtered by dinosaurs. Or how many reminders I got in The Scorch Trials of just how straight all the characters were (I get it!). I mean seriously, if there is ANY opportunity to put a heterosexual romance into a story, by golly, they will find a way. But no no, I get complaints about things being too gay after there are maybe one or two different characters who may or may not be heterosexual present.

And so, I have become curmudgeonly about any romance in a story that I feel came about inorganically, or was not per-say all that important or moving. Did Touchstone and Sabriel have to become a thing? Nah man. Did it really add all that much to the tale? Not in my opinion. But like I said, that’s just kind of a qualm I have these days.

In any case, I enjoyed Sabriel quite a bit and am maybe interested in continuing the series to find out more about the young Abhorsen and all the things that come with the powers of being a necromancer. But, I maybe want to dive into something else first before I come back to her.

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Friday, August 28, 2015

#CBR7 Review #24: Daredevil, vol. 1 by Frank Miller and Klaus Jansen

I have this problem. The problem is that I always want to get into more comic books but never know where to start (bruh, you know people who can probably help you with this). But I saw that this edition of Daredevil said “Volume 1” on it so thought that hey, maybe that would be a good place to start. What I realize is that this was the first run of Frank Miller at the helm for the character (the first half of the volume being predominantly in the drawing, the second half with more of Miller’s writing). From what I understand, many believe that the character of Daredevil really came into his own when Miller began working with him, so at this point of me jumping into the series, Matt Murdock was already established as Daredevil and had some history that required me to fill in some blanks along the way with what I already knew about Daredevil (from the show, other conversations, etc), or to try and come to other conclusions regarding his relationships with certain characters based on the present information given. At the very least, almost all of the issues included in this volume made sure to go over how Matt Murdock gained his abilities and became Daredevil so that we aren’t so out of the loop on that front.

In any case, this first volume of Miller’s work begins with Daredevil appearing in a few issues of The Spectacular Spiderman before jumping into Daredevil on his own. The volume overall largely deals with Daredevil against one of his biggest foes, Bullseye, as well as Kingpin, who is in a stage of returning to America after giving up his life of running the crime lords for some time. We also see the first appearance of Electra, and have some run-ins with The Hulk and other villains. The beginning of the volume seems to be a bit lighter in fare, with the second half becoming more dark, and in my opinion, more interesting.

Overall, it is a good run of issues focused on Daredevil, yet I did feel like I was just jumping into something just for a little stint in the middle. I think I need to either continue to read more in order to get more into it, or to pay more attention with where and when to start a run with an already established character (and particularly one that I already have an idea of in my mind as based on the Netflix show of the character, whoops).

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Monday, August 10, 2015

#CBR7 Review #23: Bitten by Kelly Armstrong

Another one from the pile my friend handed to me when I asked for book recommendations! And a pretty enjoyable read, too, given how much I like werewolves these days (*cough* Teen Wolf). But I once again fall into this problem that I’ve been having lately in regards to protagonists: they just aren’t connecting with me. That is not to say that I like nothing about Elena, the main character in Bitten. But, she just seems to flip flop a bit to the point where I’m not sure if certain things are in fact out of character or if I just don’t truly understand her in some ways and am therefore seeing them as such. That’s my problem, though, and I don’t think everyone would feel the same as me.

Bitten is about a woman named Elena, who is the only female werewolf in the world (special snowflake sirens screech in the distance!! she’s a hot commodity, y’all!). But let’s not get caught up in what initially made me roll my eyes. Elena has been living a pretty decent human life as a wolf without a pack for a while, but gets called back to her old pack life when some violent acts start to occur in the area around where her former pack lives. Elena falls easily back into this life, and there the internal struggle begins as she is faced with decisions regarding human versus werewolf life, and her new boyfriend versus her old werewolf lover, Clay, with whom she has so much history. The violence in the area around her old pack is related to the threat of some outside, pack-less wolves (“mutts” as they are called), which soon begins to threaten the lives of Elena and her wolf family (I mean, that’s basically what a pack is, right?).

I won’t go too much more into details, as it’s always fun when not too much is given away. But the story itself is bloody and intriguing, and the characters all seem to be quite colorful and interesting (if somewhat one-dimensional in the case of a few). All in all, it was enjoyable for a werewolf novel, and I am interested in reading the next in the series. There is just that issue I had with Elena herself throughout the book. Something about her didn’t resonate with me, but that’s okay, as it happens sometimes. Though I did picture her as something of a mix between Ronda Rousey and Natalie Dormer, which certainly helped in coming up with a picture of her in my mind.

At the end of the day, I might pick up another one of these books one day, as Armstrong has a pretty concise yet engaging voice in her writing. It just might not be the first thing on my list to continue with (I just have so many other things now that I need to read and/or continue!).

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

#CBR7 Review #21-22: Introductions to Christian Theology

A joint review of:
- Christian Theology: an Introduction to its Tasks and Traditions by Peter C. Hodgson and Robert H. King, and the companion book of assorted readings, Readings in Christian Theology

I am currently undertaking an introductory course in Christian Theology, as a part of my school program of choice. And I made the mistake of doing it by correspondence after a few course cancellations, scheduling issues, etc. I am way in over my head, and I recognize that.

That being said, I thought that these introductory texts would help me get truly immersed in the subject, but as it is, I find them difficult to read, as I don’t have much of a religious background to understand some of the concepts. It is very in-depth as to a number of the major Christian doctrines and what is essential to the faith, but at times I felt like I needed a dictionary on standby to be truly able to digest the type of language used.

I will say, however, that many of the readings in the accompanying “readings” text are illuminating and helpful in coming to understand some of the different schools of thought present in Christian theology over time. They just often have a style of language that is a little difficult for me to connect with.

So all in all, this isn’t really a topic that I’m well versed on, and perhaps there is a better way to begin getting into Christian Theology than these texts. I’m sorry for continually reviewing my textbooks. I should stop that (even though I do continue to read them all in their entirety).

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Thursday, July 16, 2015

#CBR7 Review #20: Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari

After reading another Cannonballer’s review of Modern Romance, I decided I had to take a look and see what it’s all about! A look at the modern dating scene from a sociological perspective mixed with personal memories, and coming from the hilarious Aziz Ansari? That sounds like it was made for me! This book was in fact quite interesting, very easy to zip through while on a couple of long car-rides, and had a light and funny voice to it overall.

But there were a couple of things that has made it fall into the 3-star category for me: for one, while the whole thing has a nice overview of facts, issues, and new things to consider in the modern dating scene (largely, technology and changing social culture, etc), I’m not really sure where the whole thing was trying to go. Is it just a research summary? Intended to help people in their dating life? Not sure how helpful it will be for me, I still feel pretty clueless, so I don’t know.

The other issue that I had was that a lot of the information and discussions presented, I honestly felt like I knew (or at least, was aware of) already. A lot of it was discussed in an interpersonal relationships course I took for my psychology degree a few years ago, even though the modern dating world wasn’t even the focus of the class, really. For instance, the new concept of “Emerging Adulthood” and how this affects individual development, culture, marriage, relationships, economics, etc is an important topic in a lot of different fields today. And I know for a fact that I’ve read about the Capilano Suspension Bridge study at least twice in various classes, so some of the things presented were really like refreshers for me. But that’s my own fault, honestly. 

What I did love, however, was how Ansari presented the information in both an informative but fun way. I couldn’t help but giggle at a number of different parts, and I just love his sense of humor. I also learned a lot about differences between certain cultures and trends in these cultures (ie, Japan), so the chapters based on focus groups conducted in different countries were highlights for me. That and any time a text conversation from a straight white boy was presented. Those always crack me up.

But in any case, I did enjoy this book and thought it was an interesting combination of personal tales and sociological research. I have yet to really read anything else like that, so it was reasonably refreshing. But perhaps the various ideas that went into the whole thing just needed a touch more direction to tie it all together and leave it feeling less like a big overview or summary.

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

#CBR7 Review #18-19: Tithe and Ironside by Holly Black

I asked my friend for some recommendations of books, and found these two thrust into my hands. Apparently there is actually another book that comes in between them in the series (Valiant), but that it is about other characters whereas Ironside is more like a direct sequel to Tithe. But anyways, that’s a bit of a side note.

I will start this off by saying that as a kid growing up, I love love LOVED anything to do with Faeries and other little magical creatures like that. So I was intrigued, seeing as how I haven’t actually read any young adult novels based around those types of creatures (which is kind of surprising to me). And these two books were pretty interesting to hear all about these faery worlds and creatures and customs, despite the fact that the plot followed that sort of typical YA, “you’re different from everyone else” pattern. What do we call it? The special snowflake thing? Anyways. The only problem was with the main character, Kaye… There was something about her. I wanted to like her, and for all intents and purposes I probably should have. But there was something about her that did not resonate with me.

In any case, Tithe begins with a whimsical, teenage Kaye and her mother, returning to their hometown after drifting from place to place with Kaye’s mother’s band. This experience over the many years has hardened Kaye quite a bit, but as soon as she returns home she can’t help but return to her old ways of looking for faeries and for something magical around her. This leads to some revelations that Kaye may not in fact be human, and she may also be necessary in a plot to help her faery friends from childhood. What of course puts a jam in the works is the presence of a super hunky faery boy named Roiben (look… I know it’s supposed to be like regal or faery-like but that name just isn’t working for me). They way he’s described makes me think of a young King Thranduil, so you know I’m all about that. Kaye’s childhood friend’s older brother, named Cornelius (or “Corny) also ends up involved in the works, and the two friends become a part of some dangerous faery politics between both the light and dark sides of that magical world.

Overall, the story is one that zipped by really quickly, and I did indeed want to know what was going to happen next. Holly Black has a way of writing that is detailed enough, but doesn’t get jammed up and slow down the pace of things. There were some things that I rolled my eyes at, of course, as I tend to do with YA novels that follow specific plot points or have certain things involved in them. I’m talking about the romantic relationship between Roiben and Kaye (it’s not a spoiler, I’m sure you saw that coming) that seemed very stiff and I was like, oh my goodness you guys have known each other for two days: calm down! But that is to be expected, I suppose. (Also the games of riddles asked throughout various parts seemed a little forced, even though that parts in the Hobbit wherein they are asking riddles is one of my favourites. But let’s not get off track here).  

Following some brutal events within the conclusion of the first novel, Ironside then picks up with the aftermath of some new governance in the faery world, and all that that entails, while Kaye comes to terms with what her new life should look like, being that she now knows she is a faery but still wants to somehow be connected to her old life. Corny is also feeling a little out of place, now that he knows about the feary world and is afraid of coming under their spells and control, wanting to be able to protect himself, but feeling incredible human.

But to come to the end of this sprawling nonsense of words: I liked some of the minor characters in the book quite a lot more than the main ones. The plot was also enjoyable and not too complicated, but complicated enough to not get too confusing for me. I enjoyed the inclusion of the faery aspects, because as I said, I was very much into that sort of thing growing up. And in general I did like reading them and got through these books quite quickly. So if you don’t mind something that follows some of the common YA tropes, but twists them in a little bit of a different way, then maybe consider giving this series a try. And perhaps I will read the other book that comes in-between these two one day.

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Sunday, May 24, 2015

#CBR7 Review #17: Stardust by Neil Gaiman

A couple of things have reminded me of the movie Stardust lately, which ultimately led to me feeling the need to read the book, of course! Because why wouldn’t I delve into the source material of something I like so much? And I wasn’t disappointed! As always, there is so much more to the story and more detail than you’d see in a different kind of medium, and Neil Gaiman is very creative and always seems to be able to produce some sort of vivid and imaginative world that just somehow makes sense even with all it’s whimsy. Do I sometimes want to say, “You’re not as deep as you think you are, Sir”? Yes, I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t immensely enjoy his writing and the stories and characters he creates.

On to the tale itself, Stardust follows the adventures of a young man named Tristan, whose birth came about by some peculiar circumstances, involving a magical land beyond the walls of his town (called Wall, of course). As he comes of age, his sights are set on a beautiful young woman, and claims that he would do anything for her, even retrieve a fallen star that crashed down in the land beyond the wall. And so… that’s exactly what he decides to do: to leave his home on an adventure to find a star, which, sure enough, is not a rock like you might imagine, but more like a woman (named Yvaine). But there are a whole host of other things going on in this land as well, involving a quest to become the new lord of the land, and some witches also on the hunt for the star to reclaim their youth.

As I mentioned before, the tale is imaginative and very fun, and you can’t help but become fond of all the different characters (well, except for Yvaine, honestly, there was just something missing from her that I can’t explain which stopped me from really enjoying her, though that doesn’t mean I disliked her by any means). I swept through the novel quite quickly, as it was hard to put down and I always wanted to know where it went next, even if I was already familiar with the overall story after seeing the film a few times. The one thing that I would bemoan, however, is that the end of the novel almost seemed a little anti-climactic, after everything that Tristan and Yvaine went through. Maybe that’s just me, though.

At the end of the day, I very much enjoyed Stardust, and I know that when I was younger I would have totally eaten it up! It’s just very fun and magical. And who doesn’t like something like that?

[Be sure to visit the Cannonball Read main site!]

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

#CBR07 Review #16: Proof That You Can Self-Publish ANYTHING on Amazon

(A review of Gay T-Rex Law Firm: Executive Boner, by Chuck Tingle)

What the hell did I just read??? 
Let’s not get into how I stumbled upon author Chuck Tingle on Amazon, whose stories include those with titles such as: “The Curse of Bigfoot Butt Camp”, “I’m Gay for my Living Billionaire Jet Plane”, “Space Raptor Butt Invasion”, and “Pounded by the Gay Unicorn Football Squad.” All I will say is that curiosity killed this cat… and there was little satisfaction to bring it back.

Seriously, this book took me about five minutes to read, and they were some of the strangest five minutes reading I’ve ever spent. At first you think, “this is ridiculous and hilarious!” as the story begins with Donny, getting hired at Jurassic Law, a law firm with mainly dinosaurs working there, with absolutely no explanation regarding this. Like, okay I guess we are just living in a world with sentient dinosaurs that run successful law firms in New York. I can work with that. But then suddenly things take a sharp turn, and our young, human protagonist is offered a (and I quote): “Contract to run a T-Rex bangbang train on Donny Sullivan’s gay human ass for the sum of ten million dollars even.”

And so, I get to see Donny’s initial reaction of, “I’m not even gay, BRO!” which suddenly turned into, “well, I guess I’m going to have sex with some dinosaurs,” and finally reaching a point of, “wow, I am actually getting pretty worked up with these dinos, let’s get after it!” followed by, well… exactly what you would expect (alright, I may be paraphrasing a bit here, but you get the picture, I’m sure).

I mean… I should have know what I was getting into when I saw the title of this book (I didn't exactly read the description because I am dumb, okay?). But I walked right into it. And it’s not like the writing was good in the slightest; I could have turned around. But I didn’t. At one point I somehow, and for some unknown reason convinced myself that there was a sort of theme or deeper meaning hidden in this story, you know, when the dinosaurs started talking about the greed of humans and what they will agree to do for money… But that was just me trying to make light of the fact that I just read a story about a bunch of dinosaurs running a train on some guy. And not even a well-written one!

So I don’t know what to tell you. But it was free and only took a few minutes to get through. And now I have been requested to do a dramatic live-reading of this ridiculous book at a party this weekend. So I guess that’s happening. I just don’t know how this guy can come up with so many ridiculous ideas for his stories. I’m assuming they are all like this? I don’t know, but I do know that I feel a need to go to Church this Sunday. I just read Dinosaur erotica. What am I even doing?
Oh, and the main T-Rex was named Tyson Rex, because of course he was. 

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